M: i feel like i'm still in junior high, dating a 15-year old swimming-pool lifeguard.

S: i think he's cute.

M: i can't be with someone who's still learning to undo a bra and confuses honeymoon period with love. i mean, i need someone who understands women.

S: you could teach him.

M: and be his tricycle while he learns how to ride a bicycle? no, thank you.

S: look, he'll settle into the relationship.

M: he keeps giving me flowers and more flowers. i'm serious, i am done dating boys. i want a man who has a choice in women and he picks me.

S: look, i think you found someone unique, ok.

M: yeah, uniquely inexperienced. good night.