how to miss someone beneficially

you're constantly thinking about a person.

a few hours may get by without thinking about said person, but eventually you will again. in fact, those hours, and any other hours not thinking about said person, feels ambivalent: a relief and a void.

since much sands of time will be spent, there are some ways to do it beneficially or advantageously.

1) hate yourself for doing this to yourself, said person, and to the two of you. chastise away without mercy and relent. tell yourself one day karma will strike back, and you will shatter. all this for the possibility that you will pluck up the courage and tell, or in the event said courage is MIA, to do better in the next one.

2) do not stalk said person's digital footprints. facebook, twitter, instagram, blogs - no stalking whatsoever. feel that sense of urgency building within? feel the need to know how said person is doing? that's human experience, and you need many more.

p/s if 2 is too helluva bitch, eliminate your own online presence.

3) look forward to the next day as you lower your head on to the pillow, because now another 24 hours is there for said person to say or do something that indicates that you're not alone in this missing occupation. don't be too hard on said person when it doesn't happen: we are only human, and you should have done it in the first place. see how you're already wising up to the ways of the world?

4) realise that missing said person is also actually missing the person you were when you're together. try to replicate that version of you, by yourself. because, you know, said person is special.

5) go out with other people. detect the differences in nuances, undercurrents, chemistry, and communication. while said person's specialty - and the fact that it was once close to you - will burn into you like hot iron, you realise that a unicorn is not to be possessed, only admired. missing said person gets converted into a privilege, no longer a burden.

in many ways this post resembles an antidote for pining afters. do not listen to those who tell you to get over and move on; they care about you, but they can do little to help you gain benefits from missing your heart out of said person. they love you, but they do not understand the emotional undercurrents in your heart; maybe that's because they do not have either the storms or the heart for it.

ultimately, missing is a process that could lead to many outcomes. without foresight, it is for the participant to utilise it. a happy thing it is, when the participant focuses on the utilisation, so much so that the happy outcome becomes secondary.