irritability

"The irritability that had been building up inside me subsided after I slept with Frederik. I had always been considered the more homely of my mother's two daughters and after the war it had come as a surprise to me to discover that men found me attractive. Once I had recovered from my injuries, and to convince myself that I was still physically attractive, I had slept with a number of men. The fact that I never took my gloves off when I made love only seemed to intrigue them more. Looking back on that period of time, I wondered if all I had been trying to do was to assert my influence over another person, after having been powerless for so long."