your last kiss

i did not notice you the first time we met. it was at a meeting and i was late.

you spoke for the first time i entered, in the middle of your two friends. you looked like you're determined to say something to add value to the discussion. your English was not all bombastic but you managed to make yourself clear. it seemed to me that you were quite sure of what you wanted to put across.

still, i didn't really notice you.

then suddenly we were working together and our first call came on the heels of formal business. we started to talk and text more and more, and one night i asked why is it that you keep telling me about your accomplishments and credentials. you said you wanted to impress me and make me think you're actually not bad at all, and the attachment became apparent.

i began to see you in a different light. we texted, talked, went out, texted some more. the chemistry was building. people around started to notice and told me you're into me. i didn't listen, and i didn't believe. how could a girl like you like a guy like me? to be the friends we were was already a mini-miracle.

nobody told me you had a boyfriend, but that's laters.

you came over and we finished looking for your song. you wanted to watch harry potter, even though you've watched it. you leaned against me and we watched the trio barging out of gringotts.

i couldn't pay any attention. there was only the warmth of your petite frame and the scent of your strands.

first they were cold, uptight lips. then your arms wrapped around and your mouth betrayed your passions and your boyfriend. you let go a slight tremble and we pulled away, only to jump headlong back into the messy jumble that was us. you explored my mouth with a dive that was a riveting drive. we pulled away again.

only our eyes followed each other, searching for any microscopic movements.

i held your hand and you started talking about your past. you told me about your two families, and how that is a great thing. you told me about your relationships and how this girl hurt you so bad that you suffered emotionally. you told me to bring this to my grave and not to use the word 'lesbian' in front of you. i nodded and was aware of the increasing intimacy. you hugged me and gave me a look i came to cherish in anguish.

i wanted you to talk more, me listening as you unravel the films.

"tell me about yourself". i kept quiet. you came closer and asked, "you don't trust me, do you?" i looked at you and your lips. i could choose to open up and tell you everything. but i chose to seal the nothingness between our kisses.

i couldn't think of anything, because you had someone else in mind.

the next morning, you called and messaged several times and i didn't pick up.

"you've been very special to me. take care." that was your last message.

thank you for comforting the dents on my heart with your kind lips.