Nightmare

I haven't had nightmares in a while. But I dreamed about one last night. It scared me, during the dream and after the ordeal. In a long while there has had no such feeling.

Today is the entry date for the new intake. I know this. I also missed her birthday, that is, not wishing.

All the ingredients are ready to cook a terrible meal.

I was driving on the highway. My favourite CD was playing. It's the only reason why I enjoy driving at all. I did not know my location, the landscape was strange to me. That didn't matter, until a blue Myvi came up in the mirror. I saw her.

She was happy, judging from her visage. Lips movement suggest that she was singing to a song in her car. It was a happy picture, all of it. It had a cartoon-like quality to it. Imagine a car driven by a happy driver, with little puffs of smoke, pretty like in a cartoon show.

A happy and contented picture. One that has nothing to do with me, whether inside or outside the picture. To me, it was a bright, yet dark, happy picture.

I cannot continue any more. It is as ridiculous to the reader as to me that a cartoonly-happy picture would constitute a nightmare. But this was what happened. There are many reasons for its scare factor. To see that face, even in a dream-like state, elicits contradictory and complicated feelings within. To see it happy is escalation.

This had better be solved. It might be wrong, very wrong indeed, on my part. Things must be put to order. The past should be forgiven, and if possible, forgotten. I would not want another dream like this again, ever; my own reaction freaks me out..