Standing Out

Everyone wants to stand out.

Like in the Pokemon Johto theme song: 'everyone wants to be a master, everyone wants to show their skills; everyone wants to get there faster, make their way to the top of the hills. '

So there is competition. And competition makes me type this post now.

I guess I am not taking competition in a healthy

way now, but I'll rant. One way to try and bring out what I am thinking right now is through The Rock's lines in his latest movie, 'Tooth fairy' . I can't remember them all, but here's the gist:

'You think you're good with that guitar? You think just because you beat some of the older guys when you're only 13, that makes you superb and cool? Well lemme tell you this kid. There are a lot of neighbourhoods in this country, and every neighbourhood has its own best player, just like you here. You did this when you're 13, but somewhere out there, a 12-year-old kid is doing it, man he's killing this guitar. And it goes on...'

More or less what I am feeling now.

What I am feeling now, is not exclusive to those few privileged ones. You do not have to be great to feel small. I'm small enough to know that I *am* small. I wonder about those unseen greatness out there in the world, yet I do not have the courage to look them in the eye.

Away with corrections, I'm ranting.

I'm not saying that I am giving up. To say that amounts to giving up life itself. No, I will live on. But I feel humbled. Humbled by people and their accomplishments, and their vast potential. Remembering the size of this world, I have to yet remind myself there are better people still.

All of it boils down to the question, 'so who am I ' . That is a great question to ask in a sea of bobbling heads. Questions about our abilities, our roles in life and the life of others, and our value, are asked throughout a lifetime. There is no escaping, it is inevitable.

To put it in simple words, I guess what I am trying to say is that basically, I will never be the best.

Yes I know about the repercussions of lousy thoughts like this one. I am ranting.

I take comfort, not total comfort, but to a certain extent, in the words of the Bible:

"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble" (Matthew 6:25-34).

I suppose that's my Caller, calling me 'O you of little faith' .

So I will try to have more faith. Faith in Him and myself. Just do my best and shoot, let the outcome decides itself. No point over drowning, Yiruma's just a pianist.

Fang doesn't worry for one shit. Maybe that's why he is happy and sad, maybe that's why he is living his life.